This is a cautionary tale about not drinking six cans of Throwback Mountain Dew when you are extremely bored.
I give myself a running start and jump, landing on the couch next to Lauren in a position similar to that of a dog begging for food. "Can I help you?" Lauren says, not even looking up from her computer screen.
"Hi!" I said, grinning maniacally.
She gives me a look that seems to say, 'you're creepy, please go away' but then grins and says "Would you like a cupcake?"
"CUPCAKE!!!!!!!" I yell. "Wait, do we even have cupcakes?"
"I don't think so."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" In my head I am impersonating Darth Vader. In reality I probably sounded like a dying cat.
She laughs finally. I glare at her. "Make with the cupcakes, bitch."
"I don't have any!"
I start to storm up the stairs. "When I return, I will have muffins! EXPLODING DEATH MUFFINS!"
"What about cupcakes?" She shouts back at me.
"NO CUPCAKES! You ruined them by turning them into a lie! I spit on your cupcakes!"
Her laughter follows me upstairs.
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